|
|
Quotes and Humor
[The quotes and humor below are for informational and entertainment purposes only. They do not reflect the views and beliefs of Fae Law Firm, P.C. or Catherine Jezebel Fae. If you should be offended for some reason, please make a large donation to your local ACLU. If you would like to submit a quote or know the author's name for a quote listed as "Unknown" please feel free to contact us]
Marriage
“I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life”. Unknown
“Marriage… the leading cause of divorce”. Paul Brigante
"Marriage is an institution. I'm not ready for an institution." Mae West
"Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences." Isadora Duncan
“A great marriage is not when the
'perfect couple' comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns
to enjoy their differences”.
Dave Meurer
"I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night." Marie Corelli
“One man's folly is another man's wife.” Helen Rowland
“Definition of love: form of temporary insanity ..curable by marriage" Unknown
"I've sometimes thought of marrying, and then I've thought again." Noel Coward
"A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished." Zsa Zsa Gabor
"Marriage is like a cage; one sees the birds outside desperate to get in, and those inside desperate to get out." Montaigne
"Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness."
Madame Virgine de Rieux
"Let no one ever say that marriages are made in Heaven; the gods would not commit so great an injustice!" Queen Marguerite of Valois (wife of Henry IV of France)
"Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a brand of beer exactly to his taste, he should at once throw up his job and go to work in the brewery."
George Jean Nathan
"Sleep around all you want, but don't get married." Attorney Debra Koenig advising a group of seventh grade girls on "Take Our Daughters to Work" day
"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence? Unknown
"I think a single woman's biggest problem is coping with the people who are trying to marry her off!" Helen Gurley Brown
"I would rather be a beggar and single than a queen and married." Queen Elizabeth I
"I became a nun, because although I recognized it as having many ramifications... foreign to my temperament, still, given my completely negative feelings about marriage, it was the least disproportionate and most fitting thing I could do." Juana Ines de la Cruz
"If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." Katharine Hepburn
"When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal and exhausting condition until death do them part."
George Bernard Shaw
"He marries best who puts it off until it is too late." H.L. Mencken
"It may be that if the job description of wife were spelled out in full no sensible woman would apply." Rebecca Mead
"[The] idealization of marriage is typical of those who are excluded from it: priests, gays, adolescents. It shows an extraordinary willful blindness." Michael Warner
"If marriage isn't a prison, why do they call it wedlock?" Unknown
“Marriage changes passion...suddenly you're in bed with a relative”. Unknown
“Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience”. Unknown
“My wife and I have the secret to making a marriage last: Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida and mine is in New York”. Unknown
[back]
Family
"There is no way to take the danger out of human relationships." Barbara Grizzuit
“There is…nothing to suggest that mothering cannot be shared by several people”.
H. R. Schaffer
“Just because someone doesn’t love you the way you think they should, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with everything that they are”. Unknown
“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind”. Dr. Seuss
[back]
Divorce
“Some think it's holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it's letting go”. Sylvia Robinson
“It is better to have loved and lost than to live with a psycho for the rest of your life”. Unknown
“Why is divorce so expensive? Because it's worth it”. Unknown
“Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience”. Victoria Holt
“Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you”. Unknown
“There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and shithead's”. Unknown
“Its easier to collect life insurance than child support”. Mary Engelbreight
“Eat, drink and remarry”. Mary Englebright
“Divorce is like Espresso, expensive and bitter”. Unknown
“Definition of Divorce: The future tense of marriage”. Unknown
“My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn't”. Unknown
"I'm a big opponent of divorce. Why leave the nut you got for one you don't know?"
Loretta Lynn
“Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house”. Lewis Grizzard
“When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him”. Unknown
“For a while, we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have.” Woody Allen
“Marriage is grand - and divorce is about ten grand”. Unknown
“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to ...” Helen Rowland
“I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house...”
Zsa Zsa Gabor
“Whenever I date a guy I think, "Is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?" Rita Rudner
[back]
Humor
“Eat a live toad first thing in the morning, and nothing worse can happen to you the rest of the day.” Unknown
“Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs”. Unknown
“Some days you're a bug, some days you're a windshield”. Price Cobb
“Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child. She must be found and stopped”. Sam Levenson
"I try to take one day at a time but sometimes several days attack me at once" Unknown
“Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive”. Elbert Hubbard
“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells”. Dr. Seuss
“Men show their characters in nothing more clearly than in what they think laughable”.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
“Life is a fatal complaint, and an eminently contagious one”. Oliver Wendell Holmes
[back]
Anger
“Never waste a minute of your precious life by squandering it thinking about people you don't like”. Anonymous
“If your heart is a volcano, how shall you expect flowers to bloom”? Kahlil Gibran
“If you've ever contemplated revenge, beware of where your thoughts might lead.... Understand how passion makes you strong, but know also when it renders you weak. What act of wickedness would you inflict on someone merely because you did not get your way? Before you embrace vengeance, remove yourself from your selfish interior life. Go outside and walk and observe and learn from the world. There is artistry and solace in everything and everyone. Let them feed you. Learn to harness your passions, your appetites. ...consider how you might perfect the art of living”.
Jacqueline Deval
"I imagine one of the reasons people cling to their hates so stubbornly is because they sense, once hate is gone, they will be forced to deal with the pain." James
Baldwin
[back]
Suffering
“It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars”. Garrison Keillor
“One often learns more from 10 days of agony then 10 years of contentment”. Merle Shain
“There are many paths to wisdom, but each begins with a broken heart”. Leonard Cohen
“There is no way to take the danger out of human relationships”. Barabara Grizzuti
"Without mistakes, there is no forgiving, without forgiving, there is no Love" Unknown
“Adversity's consequences are not antithetical to grace”. Unknown
“We suffer primarily not from our vices or our weaknesses, but from our illusions. We are haunted, not by reality, but by those images we have put in their place.”
Daniel J. Boorstin
"Since I gave up hope....I feel much better." Anonymous
“There is an alchemy in sorrow. It can be transmuted into wisdom”. Pearl Buck
“We don't receive wisdom; we must discover it for ourselves after a journey that no one can take for us or spare us”. Marcel Proust
“The epiphany of my life came along long ago, when it struck me that sadness was a recognition and affirmation of the sweep of beauty in the world, the promiscuous swirl of it through our lives, and the scars it leaves behind”. Bob Shacochis
“You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phrase: make use of suffering”. Henri-Frédéric Amiel
[back]
Wisdom / Life
“It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities”. J. K. Rowling
“Don't let the bastards grind you down”. General Joseph W. Stilwell
“It is better to be hated for who you are than loved for who you are not.” Unknown
“Expecting life to be fair because you are good is like expecting a bull not to charge because you are vegetarian”. Unknown
“Unless you know what you want - you cant ask for it”. Emma Albani
“Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others”. Jacob M. Braude
"Just think how happy you would be if you lost everything you have right now, and then got it back again." Frances Rodman
"The real measure of your wealth is how much you'd be worth if you lost all your money." Unknown
"Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers." Unknown
“Praeparetur animus contra omnia – Seneca "prepare your soul for the unexpected"
Unknown
“The question we need to ask ourselves is, "Are we willing to give ourselves up to avoid losing others, or are we willing to lose others rather than lose ourselves?"
Unknown
“We must learn to accept rejection and reject acceptance” Ray Bradbury
[back]
Honor
“Fortune does not change men, it unmasks them”. Suzanne Necker
“Honor isn't about making the right choices. It's about dealing with the consequences”.
Midori Koto
“The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be”.
Socrates
“The glory of great men should always be measured by the
means they have used to acquire it.” Francois de La Rochefoucauld
[back]
Communication
“I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant”. Robert McCloskey
“The thing I hate about an argument is that it always interrupts a discussion”.
G. K. Chesterton
“They always talk who never think”. Matthew Prior
[back]
Conflict
“We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them”. Albert Einstein
"An appeaser is someone who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last" Winston Churchill
“It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them”. Alfred Adler
“If you want to make peace, you don't talk to your friends. You talk to your enemies”.
Moshe Dayan
“But for the sake of some little mouthful of flesh, we deprive a soul of the sun and light, and of that proportions of life and time it had been born into the world to enjoy." Plutarch
“Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding”. Albert Einstein
“A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world”.
Ken Keyes Jr.
“We don't know what we want, but we are ready to bite somebody to get it”.
Will Rogers
“An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind”. Gandhi
[back]
Courage
“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing”. Helen Keller
“There can be no courage unless you're scared”. Eddie Rickenbacker
“Anyone can slay a dragon, he told me, but try waking up every morning & loving the world all over again. That's what takes a real hero”. Brian Andreas
“Courage is saying, ""Maybe what I'm doing isn't working; maybe I should try something else." Anna Lappe
“Security, regretfully, is merely a common human fantasy”. Helen Keller
“Either you decide to stay in the shallow end of the pool or you go out in the ocean”.
Christopher Reeve
“All human beings should try to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why”. James Thurber
“If you greatly desire something, have the guts to stake everything on obtaining it”. Brendan Francis
“Don't be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment”.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“It's never too late to be who you might have been”. George Eliot
[back]
Love
“Therefore search and see if there is not some place where you may invest your humanity”. Albert Schweitzer
“One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: That word is love”. Sophocles
“There are people whom one loves immediately and forever. Even to know they are alive in the world with one is quite enough”. Nancy Spain
“Love is everything it's cracked up to be…It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for, worth losing everything for”. Erica Jong
“Out beyond ideas of rightdoing and wrongdoing; lies a field. I will meet you there”.
Rumi
[back]
|
|